Well, it’s finally here. The end of the school year. For Kyle, anyway. Now that he’s home there will be a lot of changes in our daily schedule and, hopefully, we’ll start knocking out some of those home improvement projects that need attention without children and good weather because they’re outside. We also have about two and a half weeks to finish home school. No, we aren’t done yet.
I’m not really worried that we aren’t done with home school but I am feeling pressure to get everything done since we’ve finally gotten it arranged to have someone evaluate Blake’s work. We are fortunate that, after meeting with the principal at our Primary School, she volunteered to look at Blake’s work and sign off on his work for the year. Of course I’m also nervous wondering if we did enough and if he’s made enough progress to move to second grade. I’m especially nervous because home school has been a challenge in many ways (as some of my previous posts can attest) and I’m not really confident that I’ve done everything I needed to for him to be ready for second grade. On the other hand, we do still have a couple of months so if there is a problem we can work on it and get him evaluated again then.
I’ve enjoyed so many aspects of the home school experience but, at the end of the year, I have a major feeling of relief that we are just about done. I love my sons, I really do, but when home school doesn’t go well and we’re stuck in the house for days at a time as I try to get Blake to work I get a little crazy. Maybe I didn’t have the right personality for it. Maybe Blake and I have personalities that are too similar. Maybe having a two-year-old running around was too much of a distraction. Maybe the curriculum wasn’t best meeting Blake’s interest. Maybe, maybe, maybe….
At the end of the year, I see so many positive things that have come from home schooling and yet I still have that little feeling of doubt, of wonder, if it was the right thing after all. We are exploring the best way to transition Blake back into traditional school for second grade and I do have sadness about that. I think the boys have been able to get really close through the home school experience and in many ways Blake and I have gotten closer. So there is joy along with the sadness.
I will say that I have seen Blake’s confidence return and that there is definite excitement about the reading he can now do. Of course he still complains about phonics and math facts but it’s hard to convince a six-/seven-year-old that all the “boring stuff” is what makes you have the ability to do that more interesting things. It was also redeeming, in some kind of way, to learn that the teacher with whom we had so many difficulties has been asked to resign. Not that I am joyful that someone has lost their job, but with all the problems we had I am feeling confident that in returning to public school Blake is returning to an environment where educators are being supervised and that there is an accountability. I also feel that meeting with the principal allowed me to express my concerns (and I was very careful not to say anything negative about his teacher from last year) and also to indicate that I was going to be much more of an advocate for him because I was way too tentative last year until it got t be too late.
We are definitely in a time of change at our house as I am looking for a job again, Kyle is looking for a job, we are still trying to determine how to sell our home (which would allow me to stay home or at least remove some financial pressure), have many extended family cares that need attention, and are trying to wrap up home school. But the redeeming factor is that now, it’s summer…so if the rain ever stops, we’ll worry about it at the pool!
